5 Things To Consider Before A Break-Up
Relationship | Jun 17, 2019
Photo Credit: Mashivor
Even under the most ideal conditions (if it's mutual), breaking up with someone is still not a pleasant experience. Whether you've been dating for a few weeks or a few years, going through a breakup sucks, even for the person who's calling things off.
Deciding whether or not to end a relationship is never an easy task to do: all your happy memories and emotions become tangled up with the bad ones, creating a whirlwind of confusion and doubt in your mind. "When thinking about a relationship — whether starting one or ending one — it's helpful to think about how you want to after you’ve done it.
1. Make a pro/con list
Your pro/con list will help you organize your thoughts and help you see things clearly beyond the emotions you might be feeling presently. The list helps you feel more in control and gives you more power. It could also help you self-reflect better and ask yourself some real serious questions about the relationship and about yourself too.
2. What attracted you?
Try to remember what got you attracted in the first place, it would help if you have it written down. Go back to the beginning if you’re going to figure out what went wrong. Naturally, everyone grows as an individual while in a relationship, and sometimes we're so focused on how our partner "used to be" that we don't give enough thought to how they are now. It's possible that you and your partner simply grew into two people who are less compatible than they once were, and that's OK.
3. Priorities
What are your priorities and, more importantly: do my priorities align with my partner's priorities? Although you may not have exactly the same set goals as your partner, it is very important to have at least similar visions for the future you want to share together.
For example, if one of you desperately wants kids and one is staunchly child-free, that's not really an issue you can compromise on. Being in touch with what you want for your future can help you figure out whether your current partner is the right person to accompany you on your life journey.
4. Check for deal breakers
Your deal breakers are things you cannot compromise on in a relationship at all. Make sure you know them. Check if the current relationship is filled with them. You may want to compromise for a while but the truth is you will ultimately be unhappy in you do, so don’t compromise on things essential to your happiness.
5. Do you have the “Grass is Greener” syndrome?
Typically when you've been in a long-term relationship, it's easy to get very comfortable with your partner and mistake that for having a "boring" relationship. If you find yourself dwelling on your work crush more than usual or even thinking about cheating, you might have "grass is greener" syndrome, aka you'd rather see what else is out there instead of working on your current relationship. Before you make the rash decision to just end things and pursue someone new, why not take time reflecting and try to figure out if you're really unhappy, or if you and your partner are just stuck in a rut and need to rekindle the romance. If it’s the latter, then get to work on your relationship asap
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